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Montrealer from Brazil. Talking about mental health, chronic disease, relationship anarchy and existential questions in a political world.
Original photo by Ed Crocker on Unsplash.

It is yet another one of the same day. I wake up, I clean up, I have breakfast. I discuss something political or philosophical with my roommates, then I head on to read, write, or listen to a lecture. I may have something to write by a nearing due date, so I keep reading, and writing. I may not have a due date, and I may feel too drained and tired, so in that case I allow myself to relax and to play some videogames. Videogames keep my mind busy, and they give me a sense of accomplishment. …

Collage I made with the cover from the Journal Anarchiste & Chrétien, ed. 2014, by Les Éditions l’Antécrise

I have been wanting to write about relationships for a while. I have many friends from different circles and backgrounds who wonder how I relate being ethically non-monogamous, Christian, Agnostic, and somewhat of an Anarchist, all at the same time. I want to talk about having fulfilling relationships and even fulfilling breakups, about rebelling against the constraining narratives of modern capitalist life, about knowing oneself authentically, and about genuinely pursuing your own happiness and that of others. I want to talk about capital-lettered Love and about many loves. I want to talk about being a man and about trying to…

Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

Hello fellow dudes, bros, and pals*. I’m Lucas. I want to talk about sex, and I think you might find it interesting because I have close experience with radically different worldviews and approaches to sexuality. Warning: my language is explicit.

The #MeToo movement happened a while ago, but I still hear a lot of my friends who are women or queer sharing abuse stories, talking about consent and healthy sexuality against a society that constantly enables harassment. As I write this text, a new wave of denunciations are happening in francophone Montreal and Quebec. As I read these brave stories…

I think one of the happiest days of my life was exactly a year ago, when Aslan died. He was born one day before my birthday, and I had him for ten years until a stomach cancer took him away. As a kid I was scared of cats (!), but when I got him, that tiny little three months old kitten, my world changed. I had no idea how much he would become a part of me, how much I would learn with him, or how much I would love him.

My aunt had a couple of Bengal cats, and…

Photo by Andrew Winkler on Unsplash

Here I will not repeat what has already been done. If you are new to this conversation, there are plenty of good articles explaining why people are calling to defund or abolish the police, which in many places receives a disproportionate share of public budgets. As Black Lives Matter’s protests against police brutality sparked across the US since the murder of George Floyd, American police answered by doubling down on the violence. This is consistent with the history of the police as an institution. The most militarized nation in the world is dangerously moving towards framing any organized opposition to…

Photo by Cristofer Jeschke on Unsplash

The other day a friend asked how my prayer life is going, and I did not know what to answer. That question was once so familiar, but today I am not so sure what it means anymore.

Growing up most of my private thoughts were in the second person. God has always been the big elephant inside my mind’s room, inescapable and hard to ignore. Whenever alone — walking to school, on public transport, in my bed at night, in the shower, etc. — I would constantly talk to God, tell him what I was feeling, what I was going…

Photo by guille pozzi on Unsplash

You ran from the city
the structures and molds that shaped you
thousands of thousands of expectations
machine, cog, where you once fit
Your mother and father who cradled you
You were done being a child

You ran.

You found a lover in the wilderness
a band of friends united by nothing except each other
your expectations were your own
song and fire at night
you fought the cold together with drum and dance
holding each other tight
caring tenderly because you wanted to

The mountain raged and burned
whispered in your ear to let go
climb alone, grow your horns
all is…

Photo by Naveen Jack on Unsplash

Happy birthday. The day I was born. Happy. What does it mean to be happy?

My birthday is my own personal new years, to reflect on my past and make resolutions. The Ancient Greeks thought you can only call someone “happy” after they are dead, when you can look at their life as a whole and tell if they lived it well and died happily, or not. “The unexamined life is not worth living”, said the wise man on his death trial. That’s all very insufferably morbid, I know. I like to think that’s why humans set dates like these…

Photo by camilo jimenez on Unsplash

I always tell my friends: don’t be afraid of falling in love. Don’t be scared of intimacy. As long as you are honest, and I mean it, really honest, about your expectations and ways to establish communication… well, what is the worst that can happen?

You get to write some bad poetry.

I mean it hurts, yes it do. It’s like a tattoo, and like a tattoo it fades, too. There’s no forever that lasts forever so you enjoy it while it’s bright and clear and nice and people notice it and they ask you:

- Did it hurt?

as chaves do apartamento que eu divido com dois colegas, com meu chaveiro da copa

Outro dia uma amiga querida, teóloga feminista, brasileira, me escreveu: “Lucas, como foi/tem sido seu processo de identificação como latino-americano aí no Canadá?” Faz tempo que eu quero escrever, em Português, sobre minha vida aqui, sobre quem eu me tornei, sobre quem eu descobri que sou, sobre tudo o que aprendi. Então aqui vai:

Quando eu saí do Brasil eu era um rapaz de 17 anos, que se achava sabido, que queria ser designer gráfico ou psicólogo. Eu era mais evangélico que a maioria dos evangélicos que eu conhecia, puritano, careta. Eu achava que sabia como as coisas são, e…

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